I have a temper.
People don’t see it because mostly I keep it tucked away in a drawer for when I need it. I also try to keep it in check because I know that if I act on it when I’m feeling it most, I may do something stupid. I therefore try to keep my actions cool and calm and collected. I have been known to throw crockery at walls, I have lost my temper in a berserker rage and come out of it to realise I’ve had at least one cigarette burn and a cut I can’t remember getting. I’ve even managed to put my arm through a glass pane when stalking out of a room as a teenager. I still bear the scars.
I have learned to temper my temper. The journey hasn’t been an easy one, and I’ve learned to realise when I’m wrong, and apologise, both painful lessons. But the fire still burns deep in me. And I WILL lose my temper when required. It gives me steel to do things I don’t want to do.
The problem with this is that most people don’t see that side of me. They see me as being gentle, and probably too soft. I’m not. Like my druid I am caring, I like to look after folks, I like to heal. Like my druid I am also able to wreck havoc when it’s needed.
I don’t want people to see that side of me – it’s not a side I enjoy showing. But one thing I’m learning as a GM…..it’s a side that is needed. And my cool, calm control also. More so if anything.
JUST DON’T MISTAKE IT FOR MY BEING SOFT, AWRIGHT?!!
Edit: Don’t worry, was just me being feisty and grrr, and reminding myself of that side of me. And I think a little was brought on by reading about a GM and some officers in a WoW community that in my opinion acted like class assholes and didn’t get the guild drama that they rightly deserved.