Why do I do this?

Right now I’m almost wishing I’d taken Rem’s suggestion a long time ago and run with it – and applied to a guild rather than setting one up. The frustrations are endless.  We’re trying to get the balance right, and not in a fun Depeche Mode song sort of way.

I’m sad if people don’t feel like they can approach me with issues. I’m there for that. I don’t CARE if people want to rant about how my husband pulls things he shouldn’t, or that Rem’s accent can’t be understood. Or that raids are being boring, or not enough information is being given.

Oh, and to top it off, I’ve offered to run a raid on Thursday. That’s the Thursday one where we don’t know who’ll turn up, we can’t run ICC, because it’s booked for the following week, and I’m probably going to have to fall back on the good old RoTC or VoA. Yum……So fuck THAT idea of preparation in advance!

The guild itself’s doing well. It’s doing hunkydory. Despite all my inner angst.

I’m trying, I really am. But I feel impotent, a wooden figurehead of a GL. And that’s not right. I think I could do with a bloody good reminder of why it’s my character name up there. And thank the gods for today and tomorrow away from it all to give me perspective.

See you all on the other side in (hopefully) a much better frame of mind.

Edited: Today’s post  was brought to you by an  OhfuckwhatamIdoing?! moment of insecurity and the letter T and the number 8.


14 Responses to Why do I do this?

  1. Issy says:

    There are a lot of frustrations in setting a guild up – but there are many benefits too, and as long as the benefits outweigh the frustrations, it’s easy to remind yourself why you did it 🙂

    As for not being approached, in my experience, people in a guild will generally go to one or two people with their suggestions and concerns, and complaints. That’s usually never to the GM, and in guild’s I’ve been in, it’s usually to me. I guess this is because I notice what’s going on, and send people whispers asking if they are ok which usually opens the floodgates.

    Good luck with the raid, I am sure it will come together. Remember it’s supposed to be fun 🙂

    and *hugs* 🙂

  2. nowiamtree says:

    It’s really annoying though. Because if they sent a whisper to the right person at the right time, it could prevent all sorts.

    At the moment it’s not fun. But some of that is due to my real emotions coming back undiluted. I’m trying to get a balance with them again and it’s making me feel like alternately crying or screaming at people.

    • Tam says:

      You mean, if they whispered to you that a raid was going rather slowly, it would miraculously go faster?

      Be *fair* to them, Alq.

      • nowiamtree says:

        It’s not just raids. It’s…I think some of the frustration comes from people understanding how guilds normally work, and sticking with the way things are. And part of me hates that sticking to conformity when we could all be more transparent.

        God, I’d be crap in a real life management role!

    • Tam says:

      Also I find myself wondering – why is a whisper in one direction “wrong” compared to a whisper in another direction being “right”? Surely they both should have the same outcome? Surely the issue at stake here is not how messages arrive, merely that they do and with the individual sending the message feeling as comfortable and unstressed about it as possible?

      • nowiamtree says:

        In answer to that, rather than right as in right and wrong, I meant appropriate person at that point of time. My words aren’t particularly accurate or clever today.

        I’ve recently seen an issue (non guild, a real life one) build up and up and up, and it exploded into a pretty woah situation which no-one outside it was expecting. It’s uncomfortable because no one really has any idea what’s happened – the official line is there, but….

        Yes, it’s important that the individual can send that message somehow. And I don’t want just one person to shoulder that responsibilty of message bringer. And I just wish people weren’t so damned frightened of talking me, I would very much like to be there and listening for them too!

  3. Tam says:

    God, yes, it’s terrible. Your guild love you so much they don’t want to criticise you. You should disband it immediately 🙂

  4. Issy says:

    It actually sounds to me like you are trying to shoulder too much responsibility…
    You are GM, it is not up to you to play agony aunt to everyone and fix everything.. you will go mad if you try, believe me 🙂

    • nowiamtree says:

      That’s the thing. I genuinely don’t feel like I’m shouldering any responsibility whatsoever! I see people dealing with this and that, and I’m thinking “No, I’m a fake!” because there’s so little for me to actually do.

      I’m guessing it’s a good sign, but sometimes I just feel the need to actually DO something now and again!

  5. Casirati says:

    For what it’s worth, I have no issues with:

    > how my husband pulls things he shouldn’t
    > Rem’s accent can’t be understood
    > raids are being boring
    > not enough information is being given.

    Or any *other* way in which you’re running things. I’ve spoken to you about a couple of things that weren’t clear, and we’ve sorted it out.

    The raids aren’t boring – as I think I explained, it’s nice to have an objective other than “kill as much as possible as quickly as possible and /strop-quit when there’s a wipe”.

    On the subject of information, I sometimes have a problem with monolitihic blocks of information delivered orally – that’s *my* problem, not anyone else’s. I just need to get in the habit of writing notes. There’s certainly no issue with the amount of information.

    Rem’s accent sometimes makes his pronunciation “interesting”, but I’ve never had a problem understanding him.

    On the subject of pulling (fx: carefully avoiding smutty comment), I haven’t noticed a problem.

    I realise (after typing all that waffle) that these may well just be examples, rather than actual things that have been said, but I felt they needed touching on.

    It’s not clear to me what the problem is – it’s almost as if you’re concerned because there are no issues being raised! 🙂

    Of course, it’s quite possible that I’ve *totally* misunderstood what you’re saying (this has been know to happen 🙂 ).

  6. Huntardface says:

    Geez I go away for a couple of weeks and miss all the action! Not sure who rang which bells but… let’s remember altho we spend a lot of time running around in Azeroth it is sposed to be fun. Let’s bring the fun back in somehow someway mkay? /lobs of cake

  7. Sherise says:

    Seeing as everyone else covered what I wanted to say so wonderfully, I will just sum it up!

    > Your guild loves you. Alot. You are THE druidess. I worship you.

    > Rem`s accent is awesome. Understandable or not, it makes my ears all fluffy.

    > I have yet to see a boring raid within our guild. I enjoy every second I get to spend with you guys and kick all kinds of butt!

    > Gnomes with nipples pull stuff. Thats what they do. We all just pat and forgive. And demands cake as retribution.

    > Too much information given…never! That is what Bejeweled are for!

    *Sherise`s mind drifts off and starts to play with all the shiny gems*

    No, I really dont think there is too much information given at any time. I like it as it is.

    *noms at the delightful tree*

  8. Scraddog says:

    Oh little tree what can i say ?

    some people will moan about anything, I was in the situation where I ran all the guild raids and someone took offense at me doing that, now i have left a common complaint in that guild is they don’t ever do anything not even the weekly.

    you probably do a lot more than you realise without thinking about it and if there is nothing really to do then things are going well and you have a good guild 😀

    from all I have read from your’s and Rem’s Blogs the guild has been carefully put together and looks like the sort of place i would like to be but I’m on the wrong server 😦

    keep up the good work and lets face it the things you mention folks complaining about in this post are minor annoyaces and it’s not like you have two officers at each others throats which i have seen before.


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