I argue with Colt (that’s my husband) sometimes. We have the most hideous plate throwing, slamming door, storming out furious rows. The cats run for cover. Honestly, people might think I’m a soft spoken creature, but if they heard me….And people who have seen us together, have heard us tell each other how much we love each other would probably not believe how damned good we are at hurting each other at times too.
But at the end of the day, we still love each other. In fact, I’d be more concerned about our marriage if we didn’t argue sometimes. Even if I can say there were at least two times when we both considered walking out on each other.
One thing I’ve realised *very* recently is that it’s much the same in a tight guild. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve thrown a few metaphorical plates around, that there have been misunderstandings over minor things, that we all do things in different ways. But it is not because we hate each other, or the guild is falling apart that there are these misunderstandings. Rather it’s because we CARE TOO MUCH. Actually, that’s not quite the right phrase. It’s because we all care enough. And if we come out of the other side realising that, then it’s a Good Thing.
It’s quite appropriate timing. Reminded me of a summer storm where the air is heavy and you know it’s about to break, then everything is scary for a bit, but the air’s so much fresher afterwards. Sometimes with guilds, as with anything in life, we need that heaviness to break. I’m glad it has, I can breathe once more. And I think we know each other a little better for it.
Something else too. I have a thing for swans. Aside from the wonderful mythology and folklore surrounding them, Colt taught me to overcome fear and handfeed them many years ago. They’re powerful, beautiful, graceful creatures. But they’re vicious and will not hesitate to fight if they must. And while they’re swimming, and looking graceful above the water, their big and pretty ugly webbed feet are flapping away like crazy underneath it. I like that. In fact, I appreciate them so much that I have one incorporated into a pretty unique tattoo design on my back.
In WoW, my character name, Alquiel is Quenyan for Swan daughter. Swans mate for life. Whatever else, whatever I may say in the heat of the moment, I can promise one thing. I remain faithful to those I truly love. Despite those blazing arguments, I have loved Colt through 10 years of marriage. And even though we may have our moments – hell, we’re all still finding our feet with this crazy idealistic concept – this I can and will say. I truly love my guild.