Monday we cleared the Princes and the Queen. And just for fun we went back and re-visited Putricide, and got him again. Which left us clear for our virgin attempts at the Sindy doll last night.
I remember our Huntardface casually giving us his epeenish running commentary in /gchat. We ALL remember him calling it a “simple tank and spank”. How I would love to tell him to his face what flӓnsost* he is now and what runka he talks.
(Ahem, please excuse the insertion of Swedish swearwords. I have a very handy little book at the side of the pc, containing a delightful selection of cussing in a variety of different languages, left there after the long and drawn out LotRO zakkewasser incident. Apparently that’s Dutch for “testicle washer”.)
Anyway, we hit Sindragosa yesterday. And she hit us back repeatedly. And to my utmost shame and frustration, I spent probably most of the first five wipes eating dirt. I was that first person to go down each and every time.
Thank god I don’t always occupy that slot, because if I did, I’d be thinking long and hard about a new sort of career in WoW. Like flower picking or something. But last night was something else. I was doing all the prescribed stuff, but each time she dragged us all in I just could not get out of the way of the evil, evil cold.
And that’s where my frustrations arose.
You can feel free to call it too much information, but sometimes when I’m at a particular time of the month I get sooo frustrated and it all balls up in a little gloop of black tarry stuff inside. Or so it feels. It’s horrible. I even broke a plate earlier in the day because of it, luckily it’s not one of our Ikea 365 best ones….
Thankfully it doesn’t normally affect my raiding.
However, last night, when I kept dying to stupid, it raised its ugly head. Each time I readjusted, each time I died. And then, finally, when I though “This is it, if I die one more time, I’m offering up my spot to someone who can do this shit”, something went wrong with stuff, I was running out, I was clear….
…and then fecking mouse/camera/mechanics/I don’t know what went haywire and DRAGGED ME BACK IN TO THE COLD TO DIE!!!
At that point, I left the room, raged, cried a little, hit a wall and almost gave up. I was so angry at myself for not being able to Get It Right. Angry because it was simple turn and run, not a Heigan dance. Angry because my mouse/pc had shat all over me at this time – and I wondered if it had done it before. In the cold light of day, now I’m certain it had – and probably the first time, which had thrown me completely, and made me overadjust and cock up the next few times.
But most of all I was angry because I felt like I was letting everyone down.
All magnified by the PMS/PMT fun that is something that generally as a woman you don’t discuss. I’ve often read about women suffering someone asking them if it’s “PMT” and how derogatory it feels when they’re asked that. And yes, I can understand that. If Zakkewasser had used that at me, I’d have ripped him a new one. Yet there’ve been times I’ve felt it affect my own performance. The frustration I had last night, for example. I’m sure I can’t be the only one who feels it so strongly at times. But the unspoken rule remains in place. Except here, now I’ve said what I’ve said.
Thankfully I somehow managed to get it right in the end. Not perfect every time, sadly, but I managed to get out of the cold after that. And we managed to get her down to about 23% on one of our final attempts. So it wasn’t all bad.
As for the Swedish swearing? Was surprising useful for atmosphere. We have a couple of Swedish folk in our guild, and it served to lighten things up a bit when I told Colt to sug min kuk…..