Penalise me all you want for being one half of a couple – but I think you’ll find that jerks come in all flavours.

No couples. Couples need not apply. Couples cause drama.

This is something I’ve seen all too often, and it makes me cringe EVERY time I read it. People being penalised for doing something they enjoy together.  And I’ll bet you anything that those guilds with no couples rules still have as much drama from single people and people who are close friends as they would couples.

How many times have you seen a guild exodus happen because of a couple? In my experience it’s just as likely to happen with a group of people who play closely, or who are real life friends. Not just people who share the same bed. Package deals come in all shapes and sizes.

Yes, I am somewhat biased. I’m half of a couple in the same guild. A guild that is couple friendly, and thanks to that little fact, we have some great players. Great couples. Couples with mature attitudes who don’t gripe about being benched for a raid if we’re oversubscribed with signups. Oh, and couples who work together to gear up, help each other out. Not to mention couples who, because they’re sat in the same room, can respond to each other very quickly.Or couples who can shout out to their partner to come fill in at the last minute when another raider has to drop.

I’m not saying that this is the case with every couple. Bottom line is that jerks come in all flavours, and people can be selfish, not realising that their needs aren’t the only ones.  There are couples out there who will have stronger/weaker player issues or will over defend each other over minute criticism.  But we don’t write off single players because of these issues, and I’ll bet there’ve been just as many problems with single players complaining about being criticised, or being overdefensive, or hiving off with a group of their friends because of drama. So why should we discriminate against all couples because some have caused drama in the past?

And it finally leads me to wonder whether those people who insist on a “no couples” rule or complain about couples are actually in healthy and happy relationships themselves…

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5 Responses to Penalise me all you want for being one half of a couple – but I think you’ll find that jerks come in all flavours.

  1. Sophie says:

    Agreed on this completed. I saw that ridiculous post on WoM and just though…what’s got up your nose?
    It really, really annoys me when being in a relationship becomes a BAD thing.
    The most recent drama I’ve seen in guilds I’ve been in? To be honest it’s been about single people fucking each other and then fucking each other OVER.
    The couples I’ve come across have been absolutely perfect.
    If a person is going to be a jerk and cause issues then they are going to do so regardless of whether they are a man, woman, single, in a relationship, married, divorced, short, tall, whatever.

    • Alq says:

      When I first read that post, it annoyed the crap out of me. Because time and again I’ve seen the whole “no couples” rule and it’s made me angry, and then for someone to totally justfiy it like that, without a fair look at the positives, that’s not on as far as I’m concerned.

      Yet I also sit back, and think, clever. They’ve purposefully chosen an emotive subject, written about it knowing they’ll cause a stir in the emotions of all the blog readers who disagree, couples, etc, and they ride high on the increased stats and comments. Me, cynical? Yep. It’s why I’ve not linked that particular entry!

  2. Saga says:

    It’s a very one-sided account on WOM for sure. While I’m sure there are lots of troublesome couples out there, there are equally many (if not more) that are not. And I mean.. how many troublesome solo players aren’t out there? I would wager there’s more of those.

    If you’re a troublesome player you will be so whether you’re in a couple or not. I don’t think it should have any bearing on recruitment if it’s a couple or not.

    I’ve had good couples and bad couples in my guild. I’ve also had bad players and good players. The only bad thing with couples is that if you lose one you often lose the other, so more to replace – but it also means that you have a steady two people while you do have them, which is equally good.

    • Alq says:

      Exactly! In some respects too, being in a stable relationship should hopefully show (at least from my perspective, though I think a lot of people would agree with me) that you have consideration for others, respect for others, and you work as a team player. Because that’s what relationships are about. Working together, supporting each other. And if we don’t do that in raids, what do we do?!

  3. Erinys says:

    I didn’t like the article either. I’ve raided as one half of a couple for most of my gaming time and we never made a big thing about it. We raided separately if that was best for the group without complaint. If one of us screwed up, we were probably already talking about it and trying to figure out what could be done better in future. I’ve never taken my husband’s side unless I believed he was right and I’d do the same for any other guildmate (and after years of pvping together, we are used to critiquing each other’s play).

    The attitude my guild always had towards recruiting couples was simple. Both players had to meet the standards we set for all recruits and based on that, I don’t remember a single “couple” related drama incident in five and half years of mostly hardcore raiding (and yes, we had other couples raiding along side us).

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